Today I am home sick with a nasty cold. I haven’t had a cold like this in years – I can barely breathe and food has no taste! And the worst part, I can’t take any medications outside of Tylenol. During pregnancy, the woman’s immune system is suppressed so that it won’t fight off the baby growing inside you. This means that my normally strong immune system didn’t stand a chance when my co-worker came into work sick last week. I haven’t had an illness that has knocked me down like this since I started to run – since Wednesday, I’ve only worked out one time! It’s very unlike me, but I’m trying to listen to my body and do what’s best for the baby growing inside me. And for now, that means lots of rest.
The good news about staying home sick today was that it’s Marathon Monday! Normally I follow the Boston Marathon via twitter/Facebook and am not able to stream it from my work computer but this morning I got to watch on our TV while simultaneously tracking my non-elite (yet seriously fast) friends running the race via the online athlete tracker. Despite pretty non-ideal conditions, everyone is racing their hearts out.
Of course, Boston race day always brings up some emotions for me. The last two years the emotions are both related to mourning over the bombings and regret for my own failed attempts at qualifying. This year is the 2nd year that I thought I might be able to race and next year will be the 3rd Boston in a row that I had imagined myself crossing that finish line on Boylston Street. I’ve only been able to make one Boston qualifying attempt per year due to various reasons and each time I’ve come out disappointed but with pride and more knowledge about myself as a runner.
And of course, this year there will be no attempt. 2015 will be the year of the baby. I’m not sure what 2016 will bring but I do hope to run another marathon. There’s no way for me to know how my body will react to pregnancy and child birth and I have no idea how long it’ll take me to recover and get back into the same shape (or better) that I was in for CIM. Or, maybe motherhood will change my perspective all together. So while I’m hopeful that 2016 will be a marathon year, I really have no way of knowing.
There’s really a lot of unknowns right now for me, which at times can be uncomfortable because I find so much joy in planning things out. I’ve already started to wonder how my workout routine will even fit in with balancing working full time, childcare drop off and pick-ups, breast feeding/pumping and taking care of an infant (and the lack of sleep…). Luckily I have a very supportive husband who I’m confident will be bearing a lot of the workload along with me, but it’s going to be a big change no matter what. Fitness is a priority to me, and I know it always will be, but I also know my child will be the highest of all priorities. The thought of 4:30 AM treadmill runs to get in training seems daunting at this point. But, like I said, those 4:30 AM treadmill runs might not be necessary – I just can’t plan it now!
The fire inside me to qualify for Boston is not gone. I’ll definitely be in Boston one day, it’s just going to take more time to get there than I originally anticipated. Through this blog and my involvement with Oiselle, I’ve met so many incredibly inspiring (and wicked fast) mothers who prove that you can be a great parent AND a great runner. It might take some creativity and yes, some early mornings, but it is possible.
Congrats to all of you Boston Marathon finishers today! You inspire me.