I had a mini-freak out last night. Mike made some comment that was totally not hurtful and it sent me to tears. Emotional basketcase anyone?
I have a lot going on in my life right now – Ironman training being the biggest of course but also some changes/new responsibilities/extra work at work, being a bridesmaid in 3 weddings, and more. I struggle/stress about the amount of money I’ve spent on Ironman and triathlon in general and I constantly stress about whether or not my training plan is enough. All age groupers struggle with similar situations while training for this event, but it kind of all came piling down on me last night.
One of my favorite bloggers, Page, recently posted her Ironman Arizona weekly workouts and someone commented about how could she possibly have time to fit in a life and the demands of everyday living (ie running errands, grocery shopping, cooking) on top of her 10 hours of training. It definitely struck a chord with me! Lately I’ve been struggling to fit all of that in with 15-18 hour training weeks and I know that coming up are the peak weeks of Ironman which will mean I’ll be eating, breathing and living triathlon training for over 20 hours a week at times. On top of this fearful anticipation of some significant training ahead of me, I also have the doubts/fears about my own self-training.
I chose to self-train mostly for monetary reasons, but also because I like to control my schedule. I also like group workouts, and I knew that I could arrange some group workouts which would give me a good workout without having to plan and execute it all myself. So what started as a Ironman training plan that was mostly modeled off of an online plan I found on TriFuel.com turned into a beast of it’s own that now barely resembles any particular training plan. Obviously there are the basics – three weeks of increasing weekend mileage, one week of recovery. Three swims a week, four-five bikes a week (trying to emphasize the bike since it’s my weakness), and three-four runs a week. One yoga a week. At least one separate core and upper body session a week, ideally two. Fundamentally I have everything down. Where I start to question myself is when I read/hear things that differ from my current approach. Do I incorporate speedwork? Some say yes, some say no. Do I add in strength training? Some say yes, some adamantly say no. Are my workouts in the right order? Should I have more specific goals for each workout? Should I be eating more clean and cut out sugar and alcohol?
I read a lot of blogs and I read a lot of articles about training, a lot of which contradict each other and my training in some way (quite naturally – there is no “one way” to train!). So, basically on about a weekly basis I come to Mike with some revelation about how and why we should change our training plan. Luckily, he’s quite calm and rational about this whole process, and even better, he self-coached himself for his first Ironman so he knows that if you put in the hours, you’ll get to the finish line. Am I going to reach my maximum potential for this race? Probably not, but since it’s my first race, I don’t think that’s really possible anyway.
What Mike constantly reminds me is, we’re here to have fun. We’re not here to win. I wouldn’t be training for an Ironman if I didn’t think it was fun. And for me, doing yoga once a week instead of another workout is fun. Knowing that I can eat a big greasy slice of pizza and the cupcakes that someone brought into work is fun for me. Going to Masters Swim is fun. Doing the Sufferfest bike workouts are fun. Would I benefit from doing a more specific swim, bike or run workout set out for me by a coach and by eating super clean? Possibly. But at the end of the day, I’m getting in my mileage and I’m doing the work. I will cross the finish line and I will have a big smile on my face knowing that I did it my way.
How do you stay sane during high volume training? Is is also hard for you to know that you’ve done enough to get to the finish line?
fear of missing out or training “wrong” is a big one, especially during the first time you are training for a certain distance. my coach has said to me – it’s not rocket science. you’re training for your first IM. you could do almost anything and get there in one piece and still have a good day.
so take heart in that. i think you’re kicking ass and doing just fine.
Hey there! I read your blogs and quite enjoy them though I can say that sometimes I begin to wonder if I am doing enough based on what you are doing. (: My response to your blog above is to read the last several paragraphs of what you wrote again! You are doing awesome in your training! What you are doing, you are doing for you because it is fun, you like it, it fits your schedule, it fits your mood, it fits what you want to eat, etc! This is about YOU!!!! A class of yoga is better for YOU than a speed workout, a picece of greasy pizza is better for YOU than a cleanse…. because FUN is better for YOU!!!!
Potential can be a dirty word that taken literally drives people crazy. You are reaching your potential everyday because you are choosing to keep the FUN in YOUR Ironman journey.
Keep rocking it, ’cause you are doing great! Take a deep breath and remember why you are on this journey.
94 days until we reach the finish and call ourselves “IRONMAN”!
I think that almost every Ironman athlete has the same thoughts that you’re having right now, myself included. We’re crazy in the first place to do one of these and overwhelm ourselves with research, blogs, etc. Sometimes I have to limit the amount of blogs I read or research I do just so I stop questioning everything.
And the great thing is you have Mike. He’s completed his IM successfully and can get you there too. Take one day at a time and you’re right, remind yourself that you’re doing this for fun and we’re all cheering for you!
A few thoughts:
Freak outs are a natural part of the IM training process. Breakdowns also happen. I weep regularly- because I’m happy, because I’m sad, because it’s sunny, because it rains…
Grocery bills are positively correlated with training hours. You will eat-a lot.
Triathlon is insanely expensive. But it’s only money. The rewards are so much greater than cash. (says the broke woman who spends all of her extra money on triathlon…)
There is more than one way to train for an Ironman. We all have different philosophies. Each body and mind is different. That’s why if you ever do go with a coach you need to know what their philosophy is and trust it.
You can absolutely self-coach yourself to the finish line. I self-coached myself to a 44-minute PR last year. You will cross the line. Don’t go changing your plan because of what someone else does.
Focus on finishing and having fun for your first one-you’ll never get that first time experience again. It is special.
Nicole- we are strangely on the same schedule for the same race- and consider myself a newbie too. This IM training is a lot, but should be well worth it. See you in CDA.
JMO
I get overwhelmed bu IM training sometimes too! I think my biggest worry is that I am not doing enough and I have a coach. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a coach so I could go and so whatever I wanted. When I do another Ironman I will self coach.
I think it’s normal to second guess yourself when taking on something this big. I hope you are feeling better!!!
hi nicole,
i found your blog via page. looks like we have similar race plans – ca 70.3 this weekend (!!!) and IM cda, my first full. just wanted to comment that you are not alone in your worries and stress. it looks like you are doing great so far with training, so keep it up! it’s easy to get overwhelmed, so i just try to remind myself to take one day at a time : ) good luck on sunday!
Thank you for the words of encouragement! Good luck to you too! I look forward to following your journey as well 🙂