Asia, Page and I found a yummy all vegetarian/vegan restaurant that served breakfast. I was wooed by the promise of vegan french toast (although I ordered it with a side of eggs and a soy sausage so the breakfast wasn’t fully vegan) and the coffee was delicious. Post breakfast we headed back to the hotel for showers and more relaxing before heading to the expo.


After dinner we went back to Hayward field to get more pumped up about the race and we took a bunch of fun photos on the historic track and in front of the recently constructed finish line. We were back in our hotel room before 8 p.m. to get ready for the next day, relax and get in bed early. Once I got in bed, I got really nervous about the race and I had a hard time sleeping. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding and I just couldn’t get over the nerves. Eventually, I did and fell asleep and didn’t wake up until morning.

oh no! i am so sorry to hear about your race. i’m glad you are okay. that sounds really scary!! having experienced a DNF a few months ago i know that nothing anybody can say will make it feel better. just know that it happens. it hurts. there are tears. we come back from it stronger than before and surprise ourselves with the strength we gain.
other than the race it sounds like you had an incredible weekend!
i’m really glad i got the chance to meet you. i know in my heart the next marathon recap you write will be a BQ! use this experience to fuel that fire!
Thank you! That definitely makes me feel better. It was so great meeting you too! I hope there are more fun race weekends like this ahead where we will meet again ๐
I know it wasn’t easy for you to drop out like that, but I am SO PROUD OF YOU for listening to your body and learning from this experience. You are going to have a great day when you go out there again, and I know you will be able to stay calm and enjoy the race. Thanks for cheering me on at the finish despite everything. It means a lot. Love you!
I’m so sorry to hear about your race experience, Nicole. You’re right- you should be proud no matter what happens. And, I give you serious props for stopping so you can put your training to good use at an upcoming marathon instead of having to recover.
Sounds like a really fun weekend otherwise! I know you’ll get your BQ one day soon!
Thank you! I know I will get it!!! ๐
When I was reading your description of what happened, I was thinking that it sounded like a panic attack. I had one in 2007 when I was late for work one day (obviously, there is way more to the story than that!). It was terrifying and I’d never experienced anything like it before. I was really embarrassed, but after that, and after regaining some perspective, the pressure just kind of released.
You’ve earned that BQ and you’ll get it soon <3
Panic attacks are just life’s little reminders that we’re probably focusing on the wrong things. Be proud of what you accomplished to get you to that race day and then just have fun doing what you love. You can do it, I believe in you!
Aww thank you friend!!! True – time to just focus on the joy of running and not put so much pressure!!It will happen naturally.
Thank you friend!
Hey it’s Tara C. from Dailymiles …You and I had very similar experience at Eugene, except my “bonk” was at mile 15. All of a sudden my legs were just heavy, my body tired, my pep GONE!! My pace slowed from 8:20’s to 8:30’s, and by 21 to 9’s, 9:30’s. I cried, with every walk/stop to stretch. Why was my body betraying me today, after 2 weeks ago I ran 22 miles at 8:23 pace, and my 20 miler at 8:17??!! I passed a med area, around mile ~18 maybe, thought about stopping, ran passed it, stopped, and turned around to it, but then convinced myself to keep going, so I turned back around.
I walked, and jogged until mile 23 crying off and on, esp when the 3:45 pace group finally passed me. Around mile 22.5 my heart began to beat super fast, and I began to panic. I took my pulse, and convinced myself it was skipping a beat. I walked to mile 23 and I stopped at a med table and called my boyfriend to come get me(I also suffer from panic attacks)…but he convinced me to try to get to 24, and if I still hurt and couldn’t go anymore he’d come get me. So I sniffled through my cries, stood up from the med table (I sat there prob 10 mins) and turned off my garmin and ran in to finish. I crossed the finish at 4:08, and just cried, cried, cried from the pain and the disappointment.
Fast forward to today, the disappointment is still there, but we have other races to attack. Me personally, I am eyeing CIM in Dec to give me a solid 4 months off….I know you and I have a fast marathon in us. It WILL happen for us!! Yesterday wasn’t our day, but we’ll get our day! and it will be AMAZING!! ๐
Wow I’m so sorry to hear that!!! What a weird day for both of us. I know we will do it too! It wasn’t our day but it will come! The marathon is a crazy beast…. not every attempt is going to be successful but that’s why it’s such a big deal to qualify for Boston and to even finish a marathon! Keep me posted on what race you end up deciding to do! I’ve heard CIM is great!
Will do! and can’t wait to read what race you will run next! ๐
I have issues with anxiety and running too. Both marathon’s I’ve run my stomach has been my downfall and I’ve realized that’s its caused by the anxiety of putting so much pressure on myself. Haven’t really figured out the answer but you’re not alone ๐
I am so glad to see you are okay! I was tracking you and so confused when no times came up after 10k! Amazing job shaking off the loss and moving forward; also very impressive making the difficult decision to drop out early enough that you can try again!
Aw yeah my dad also called me after and was like “did your timing chip break!?” Oops… Thank you for tracking me and checking on me!
Its heartbreaking to read this! But I know that your BQ is right around the corner. When I ran RNR SD a few years ago I ‘knew’ it was going to be my race where I finally broke 4 hours. I had trained harder than before and had run a few solid 20 milers faster than my goal pace. Come race day though I started to feel bad around mile 3.. and just about gave up by mile 8. I kept run/walking through the race though and cried several times along the way, but decided to just plug along to the end. I ended up finishing closer to 5 hours than 4, and each time I read my race recap after the race (even after having beat 4 hours) it made me cry thinking about the heartbreak, frustration, and disappointment that I felt that day and for a while after. BUT… it is what makes the victories so sweet. I think part of what makes marathons so rewarding is that each race it its own unique challenge. Even after running a ton of marathons I still worry at the start line of each race if I will be able to get to the finish. Regardless of the quality of my training. anyways, sorry for the novel. Good luck at OC! I ran that in 2010. Its a beautiful course up to the half but then its pretty desolate for the second half. Prepare yourself for the course support to drop down to about nothing for the second part. That was what was a bit shocking to me. I think something like 3/4 of people run the half marathon so the first and second half experiences are totally different. Right when I split from the half runners I thought I was going the wrong way because it was just me running down the block! anyways I will be thinking of you this weekend. BUmmed you’ll miss the GOTR 5k! ๐
Aww thank you! Bad races definitely happen! Hearing so many people going through similar things makes me feel better – although I really wish none of us had these stories to tell! Only makes us stronger though right!?
Oh, man. I’m so sorry. I know this is the ultimate bummer. You’ve got this, though. You’re strong, motivated, and fast, and you have ’til September! Get out there and just have faith!
1) I’m sorry (again) it wasn’t your dream race 2) I’m glad we met 3) I’ll be at OC and will hopefully get to see you cap off your BQ journey there!
I’m glad we met too! I’ll look for you out there! ๐
Wow! I literally felt for you as I read this. It sounds like you trained hard and were ready to go, but some cruel fate intervened. I like the way you think though in that even during your race, you were already thinking that not running the whole race, your body will be ready to race another mary soon. I believe half the battle of getting a BQ is wanting it enough to do what it takes to get it. You seem to have that! Best of luck in your next one!
Bummer you had a panic attack! Really good summary of your race though. Having a race not go your way sucks for sure but you learned more about your body this way than had the race gone really good. I am sure you will BQ in your next attempt.
I agree – it was a valuable learning lesson. I think it’s probably good for every runner to have at least one “bad race” to remember and keep them grounded! Or at least I tell myself that ๐
So sorry your race didn’t go as planned. Whenever something bad happens, I turn to my favorite Mom quote: “Things have a way of working out for the best, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time”
Glad you don’t have to take time off to recover from the full distance. Looking forward to reading about your BQ soon.
Agreed – there will be a silver lining ๐ Thank you!
Sorry to hear about your race Nicole, that’s a big bummer. It sounds like you’re definitely prepared and ready for that BQ…it just wasn’t your day. It happens. But I think your decision to drop out was definitely a good one. As you said, now you won’t need to recover and I’m sure you’ll find a back-up race in no time! Excited to hear how your plans unfold.
Thank you!
I’m so sorry your race didn’t go as you’d hoped, but I’m so glad it was nothing serious. You are still an inspiration!
Thank you cousin! Love you ๐
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you handle it.” Right?!
I’m still so bummed for you that it didn’t happen at Eugene, but the good news is that I KNOW it WILL happen for you! You have every right to be upset, but I know that you’ll pick yourself up and demolish that goal VERY SOON!
I loved every minute of our weekend and I’ll be cheering for you this week!
I’m so sorry to hear things didn’t go as planned! I too thought maybe your chip was broken. I’ve gotten pretty bad race anxiety in the past due to pressure, so I feel for you! Just know that you would be an inspiration and I’d still follow your blog whether you get your BQ this year or in 10 years! Sending you happy, ultra low-pressure vibes from Indiana!
Awww thank you! That means so much!! ๐ I love the low-pressure vibes!
Panic attacks are THE WORST. I’ve never had one during a race, but I can imagine how terrifying that would be.
I had one during a class in college (I was just sitting there! Not moving, or talking!) and I actually thought I was about to die. Caffeine, lack of sleep, and general stress contributed to mine.
It may help to talk to a professional about this. After the first instance, I kept feeling panicky in that same class until I talked to someone and got some strategies for avoiding an attack.
Good luck with this! I hope your next race goes better!
As I was reading this, I was thinking “she definitely had a panic attack.” I’ve been there (never during a race) but it is a scary thing and I understand why you would DNF this. I’m glad you figured out the source, it seems like you have put a LOT of pressure on yourself to BQ. Maybe after this training season, consider some “fun runs” or even some trail races. I ran a trail marathon with no real goal time this past weekend, and it was one of the most fun marathons I’ve ever run. Hope you get that BQ soon ๐
-Danielle @Trails & Cocktails
Wow crazy how common it is! I really had no idea at the time since I hadn’t ever had one but now it seems like it was definitely the case. I need more yoga in my life! Definitely time for some R&R and focus on non-crazy goals for a bit.
Thanks for sharing this. I’m hypoglycemic and have a really hard time with blood sugar crashes sometimes during running, and what you wrote is almost exactly what I experience (except my legs usually feel tired, not arms so much.) Even if yours was a panic attack and not what mine is, the description really hit home. It’s really scary, especially when you feel like your heart beat suddenly gets really hard/fast/skips beats. I usually end up walking some and killing my pace because I freak out. I hope you never experience it again, and good luck with the BQ. You’ll get it! ๐
Hey there! I found your blog through Once Upon a Lime’s Blog just today actually. I have experienced anxiety/panic attacks in the past (not race related) and also dropped blood sugar during a triathlon and it is scary! It feels just like you were describing.
I think you were right about the coffee and the pressure because I was feeling all the same things for that particular race/triathlon.
I have learned to deal with the anxiety attacks by doing breathing exercises and Yoga.
I hope you get your BQ soon best of luck!
Thank you! It helps to hear that others have experienced the same thing.
eek, well i’m sure you made the right choice and hope you get to go back and kick that courses butt next year?! it was a perfect race weekend but like you said we all win some, we all lose some and it sounds like you didn’t let it beat you down for very long at all! ๐