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Learning to Be Mentally Tough

There’s been a lot of talk of mental toughness around here. On this blog I mean. After some self-reflection on my DNF at Eugene and my non-BQ at OC Marathon, I certainly knew that above physical training, I needed to focus on mental toughness. Where do we start?!

First, let’s talk about what the heck mental toughness is. To me, a runner, it means staying in a positive mental state and pushing through pain during a race or a tough workout. To a soccer player, it might mean staying focused during a tough game when the opposition continues to score. To a business executive, it could be remaining calm and coming up with an alternative solution when an important agreement falls through at the last minute. To a Navy Seal, it could mean thinking clearly instead of panicking during a life of death situation.

According to Wikipedia, Mental Toughness is “a term commonly used by coaches, sports psychologists, sports commentators and business leaders to generally describe a collection of attributes that allow a person to persevere through difficult circumstances and emerge without losing confidence.” Only within the last 10 years has mental toughness been studied as a psychological construct but it has long been known that mental and physical performance has just as much to do with mental state as physical. To me, the most important word in the definition on wiki is confidence. Mentally tough people are confident in their actions and put positive thoughts ahead of negative in order to achieve their goals.

Not sure mental toughness got me to the podium at the Girls Scout Olympics or not...
Not sure mental toughness got me to the podium at the Girls Scout Olympics or not…

Only when I started to write this blog about mental toughness did I start to realize that despite having some serious determination, resolve, dedication and willpower in a lot of areas of my life, particularly my training (you can’t survive Ironman training without a healthy dose of these), I often let my fears win over all else. As a child, I tried sport after sport. I was good at some, bad at others. But one thing always was the same – when times got tough, I called it quits. Gymnastics, dance, softball, basketball, track and field, field hockey, even swimming- I never really achieved any sort of potential in any sport. One gymnastics coach saying I wasn’t ready to move up to the next level, and I quit. One too many softballs to the face and I was done (or at least hid in outfield since my parents wouldn’t let me quit halfway through). As soon as I realized I wasn’t one of the best or  that I could get hurt, I figured I lacked some sort of innate talent that my peers who were good  at the sport all certainly had and said peace out (this also proves that even as a child I was super competitive).

On The Block at a Swim Meet in High School
On The Block at a Swim Meet in High School

 

Luckily enough for me, I was usually naturally good enough at school to do well so I never quit that. In school, I was confident. In sports, I was not. I knew I could play but I also felt like I’d never be the best. Even after winning the divisional championship in the 50 meter breaststroke my freshman year, I still felt like I was a fake since I wasn’t favored to win (I was seeded 4th). By the time sophomore year came around, I’d lost the confidence I had earned at that final swim meet and didn’t want to dig down deep and get really good at swimming. I wasn’t sure I could even if I tried. And I never did.

I played Field Hockey for 2 years in High School - I stayed back on JV to "have fun" with a friend my senior year and was team captain
I played Field Hockey for 2 years in High School – I stayed back on JV to “have fun” with a friend my senior year and was team captain (Yes, I also had blonde hair!)

Over the last few years I’ve come to consider myself an athlete. A runner. At triathlete. I appreciate my body for what it can do and wonder what I could have done in the past had I applied it right. I’m proud of myself. However, I still compare my performance to others. Instead of focusing on the fact that 90% of people who run a marathon are slower than me, I compare myself to the 10% who are faster. When reading fellow blogger’s race recaps, I wonder why I can’t miraculously bust out 6:45 min/miles in a half marathon. I have to remind myself that I can now run 7:45 min/miles in a half marathon and just a few years ago I ran a half marathon at over a 10 minute mile! What pace was once a struggle to maintain during just one 800 interval is now half marathon race pace. If I look at it that way, 6:45 seems pretty damn close!

SD Half Marathon - Running Faster Than I Ever Imagined I Could!
SD Half Marathon – Running Faster Than I Ever Imagined I Could!

It’s all about HOW you chose to look at thing.  In 2008 after a bad breakup I went through a rough time in my life, questioning who am I, what do I want, where do I want to go?! I recognized that my thoughts were increasingly negative and it was affecting others in my life. I read the book “The Secret” which is based on the premise that if you send positive energy into the universe, you can create your own destiny. Although I’m not sure I believe I can wish myself into my dream life, I took away a lot from that book. I now believe I can shape my life by shaping my thoughts. How you react to a situation is what makes it “good” or “bad.” As a child, I threw fits quite often – I’d ruin my own day (and my mom’s – sorry Mom!) by crying my face off. After reading this book as well as a couple other self-help books, I came to the realization that I was in control of my life via my thoughts. I could sit in traffic and huff and puff and bitch about it, or I could turn up the music or call a friend and enjoy the ride. I could focus on being alone or I could focus on being completely independent for the first time. That year was a rough one but I learned so much and I changed as a person. I became a happier person just by shifting the way I looked at things. I wasn’t easy and I’m still not perfect at it. 

I’ve come a long way since my childhood tantrums and boo-hoo breakup of 2008 and I’m sure I have plenty more hard times to learn from. The lessons I’ve learned so far about mental toughness in life can easily be translated to running races. When my legs are sore, I’ll think “you’re running a marathon, your legs are supposed to hurt.” When my lungs are burning I’ll think “good thing you did those crazy treadmill hill repeats.” When I wake up on race day after a restless night, I’ll think “It just means your body is excited and ready to go!” If the pace group passes me I’ll think “You will catch them.” If I have a cramp in my side, I’ll tell myself that it will pass. When I begin to wonder why in the world I’d ever put myself through 26.2 miles of hell, I’ll think “Because you LOVE to run.” And I do. 

I am a runner!
I am a runner!

Mental toughness is about taking every negative thought that even tries to enter your mind and pushing it away immediately. Not letting these thoughts fester is the key to success. Recognizing that negative thoughts WILL try to intrude is even more important. So how do we become mentally tough? Practice makes perfect. I have actively tried to focus on the positive and push all negative thoughts out of my mind during all training runs and during any thoughts I have about the race. It’s much easier for me to make up excuses for possible failure in advance than it is to embrace a goal and make it your mission. In the past I’ve made up excuses before races even started and then as soon as the going gets tough, I cling to those excuses and let them take me down. Not anymore. It’s time to focus on the good and forget about the bad. 

What have you learned about yourself and mental toughness? Are there certain situations that you find yourself more likely to give up during?

 

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February 12, 2014 By fitnessfatale 14 Comments

Filed Under: Running, Uncategorized Tagged With: mental toughness in running, sports and mental toughness

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Shannon @ Mon Amour

    February 12, 2014 at 2:54 am

    I really have to applaud you for being so honest in this post. I threw tantrums as a kid too. When things wouldn’t go my way I would take it out on myself by making the people closest to me upset with me about something. I would sabotage things for myself. I don’t know when it clicked by actively trying to have a more positive attitude has changed my life. Just like with physical training, the stronger you become mentally the easier it will be to be mentally strong. With this kind of mindset you are going to have a great race in Phoenix. Fingers crossed its a BQ 🙂

    Reply
    • FitnessFatale

      February 12, 2014 at 3:10 am

      Thank you! Not always to admit that we haven’t always made the best choices for sure!

      Reply
  2. Asia

    February 12, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    I’m so glad you are focusing on mental toughness! It really helped me the past 1 year of training. One exercise I did was to think of everything I was scared of/what could go wrong going into my marathon, and then I addressed them one by one. It was scared, but necessary. What could I do to mitigate these things? What was out of my control (weather)? That exercise really helped me! (P.S. YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!)

    Reply
    • FitnessFatale

      February 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      That’s a great idea! I will do that exercise. Thanks for believing in me friend!

      Reply
  3. Run Weigh Mom

    February 12, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    I loved this post. I also struggle with the mental aspects of running sometimes. It’s so nice to hear that I’m not alone!! Good Luck!! I will be rooting for you!!

    Reply
    • FitnessFatale

      February 12, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
      • Run Weigh Mom

        February 12, 2014 at 9:06 pm

        Quick question….from your swim and field hockey pics, it looks like you went to Marina HS in HB – did you?

        Reply
        • FitnessFatale

          February 12, 2014 at 9:35 pm

          Yep!

          Reply
  4. Sarah OUaL

    February 12, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    So, you stole my past training diaries and wrote this for me? So thoughtful and well-put, thank you! 😉

    Reply
    • FitnessFatale

      February 12, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      Our running stories do seem very similar at times! Makes a better story right? Not always achieving your goals every time? Ha would be boring if we just magically BQed and PRed every race.

      Reply
  5. Monika

    February 12, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    I like this post! And the old pictures :o)

    Reply
    • FitnessFatale

      February 12, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      You can thank the wedding slide show for a new batch of pre-digital camera photos. I may have to dig into this gold mine more often!

      Reply
  6. Leslie @ Triathlete Treats

    February 14, 2014 at 6:05 am

    You nailed this one! I have always had a problem with mental toughness. I really worked hard on using every training swim, bike ride, and run for my 3rd Ironman on being mentally in it. So I could use that mental toughness for the race. It totally worked and I had an epic race! Running is my weakness and I know that I have to be positive during every run or it does not go well! Every.Single.Time!
    You sound like you are ready mentally and physically…now you can go out and crush those 26.2 miles!

    Reply
  7. kelly @ racesrepsramblings

    February 14, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    I LOVE this post!! Mental toughness is one that I think growing up isn’t a skill we hear much about. We hear about “integrity, honesty, confidence etc” … but not much about being tough mentally. I can definitely relate to the whole crying your face off thing – learning to change expectations and perceptions can take a long time… but whenever I have moments of mental toughness I realize it’s so WORTH it to put the time in to become mentally tough. Lovely post – glad you’ve experienced awesome growth in this area! AND know that your race times are the times other bloggers look at and wish they could have… like me! There’s always someone faster, smarter, richer, more beautiful etc… but you are doing an AWESOME job of working to be the best version of you (as a runner in this case). Keep up the inspiration!

    Reply

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