It’s no secret that I’m a planner. I find a lot of joy in mapping out a plan for myself when it comes to everything in my life – marathon training, vacation planning, social activities. I even plan for a living as a financial analyst. When I started thinking about how I envisioned the birth of our child, I knew I’d need a plan to help me. Funnily enough, everything about labor and delivery is unpredictable and impossible to actually plan. No one can tell me when the baby will arrive and how she will arrive, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be prepared.
I’ve had quite a few friends have children over the course of the last two or three years, so I’ve been able to get some insight into the birthing process but I never seriously considered how I would want my labor and delivery to go until I got pregnant myself. Right when I started trying my sister in law gave me a book to borrow called “Expecting Better” which digs into pregnancy “dos and don’ts” based on the hard research, not just general guidelines (for example, she found that there is no reason why you can’t drink coffee while pregnant and even have a glass of wine but you definitely should not be gardening). Of course there was a section on birth in the book and after reading it and doing my own research online and speaking with friends, I decided that I would try for a natural birth.
At first, I was in the camp of “I’ll try for the natural birth but if I cave and get the epidural I won’t beat myself up.” However, the more I have learned, the more confident that I have become that I have the tools and willpower to avoid an epidural. Obviously I can’t control if I need a c-section, but the epidural is something that I definitely can say no to. Women have been birthing babies without drugs since the beginning of time, and if they can do it, I can do it.
To be clear, I have no judgments about anyone who decides to have an epidural. I certainly see the advantages and there is no solid proof that an epidural harms the baby in any way. If you chose pain management, that is your choice!
Once I decided that natural birth was the route for me, I knew I wanted to take a live birthing course to learn as much as possible about the process. There were a few reasons why a live course was what I wanted:
- I want Mike and I to learn about birth together. Birth classes are a great way for a couple to learn and grow together even more as a couple before becoming parents. Mike is very open minded and I knew that despite some initial discomfort he would enjoy the process of learning about what we are getting ourselves into!
- I knew that a birth class would help ease Mike’s fears of the birthing process (he doesn’t like to see me in pain!) by not only providing him with knowledge about what is to come but also tools for helping make my experience more comfortable so that he feels less helpless on the big day.
- I wanted to meet other couples who are at the same point in pregnancy as us to share tips and experiences with before and after the birth of our babies.
- I wanted a class that emphasizes the husband or partner as coach. We aren’t hiring a doula and I want Mike to be my birth coach. There is no one in the world I feel more comfortable and at ease with than Mike and he always knows how to motivate me and calm me down.
Of course, not all birth classes a natural. Once I narrowed it down to only natural birthing classes, I have 3 choices: Lamaze (which is not as popular anymore), Hynobirthing and Bradley Method. To summarize the other two methods quickly, Lamaze focuses on pain management breathing techniques but the main principles aren’t focused on an intervention-free birth (this is what you tend to see in the movies) and Hypnobirthing focuses on eliminating fear and pain in the birthing process through hypnotic techniques.
What drew me to the Bradley Method (read more about it here) was that it is a very holistic approach which includes nutrition advice, pre-natal exercises, and breathing and relaxation techniques to prepare the mother for a natural birth. It also greatly emphasizes the coach-mother partnership. The philosophy isn’t so much that we should fear pain in childbirth, but rather embrace it as part of the process. This resonated with me as a runner – during a marathon, there is a lot of pain, but the pain is harmless and meaningful. It gets you to the finish line and is not to be feared but rather conquered. I also appreciate the fact that my Bradley Method classes give me a guide for prepare for birth – as a planner, I love to have a list of things to check off. I know that I will be a lot more calm on the big day knowing that I’ve done everything I can to prepare myself. Just like a big race, the day won’t go exactly as I’ve planned and all I can do is make sure that I keep my mental state as focused and positive as possible and take each minute as it comes.
We’ve attended two (3 hour long) classes and I’m very happy with the teacher and course content so far. We have 6 left to go (the class is often 12 classes but ours is broken into 8 classes at 3 hours each) but I’ve learned a lot already and feel like if I were to go into labor tomorrow (let’s really hope that doesn’t actually happen) I’d be more prepared than I was two weeks ago. I’ll write another post listing the reasons why I’ve chosen a natural birth – it’s definitely a post in itself. I’d also like to share the exercises that we have learned and are supposed to be incorporating into our routine daily ( I say supposed because it’s a bit easier said than done!). It’s also been nice to meet other couples in the same boat as us – oddly enough there are 7 couples in the class and we are all first time parents having GIRLS! Our teacher is also pregnant with a girl. It’s the year of the girl!
Love this! As someone who experieced the epidural-intervention-csection fiasco the first time, then went the hypnobirthing-doula-successful natural home birth the second time… there is just no comparison. The not-fearfeal non-medicated, “oh my gosh, I DID IT” birth was amazing. Both are part of who I am and of course both gave me beautiful perfect babies. BUT I had SERIOUS complications from the epidural and csection. Not cool. With no drugs and no surgery? Oh my gosh the recovery was amazing. Anyhoo, you are going to do GREAT! Keep affirming yourself, you are STRONG and you are CREATED for this and you can do hard things and not all pain is bad and each surge of contraction brings you closer to your baby!! Got a fueling plan yet? Dude, I practiced fueling for birth like I did a marathon! Have your favorite electrolyte drink on hand! And even GU or something (I used dates) that is easy to get calories in (should it go long. My second one was so quick I didn’t even get to use it!) Okay, now I’m rambling. Congrats, you rock!
Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your story. It’s a confidence booster! So far I haven’t thought a lot about fueling but I did consider GU or something similar ! I’ll have to start thinking about it more !
I was allowed to take goo while in labor (25 hours of labor) and it made such a difference. I brought my Nuun too which was also helpful. It sucks not being able to eat for 25 hours!
The one thing I regretted from my birth was not having a doula. Being a first timer, I figured it was a waste of money. My husband was there to support me anyway! Well, the nurses don’t help you much when it comes time to push, and I think that’s where a doula might have come in handy. Having someone there to count for you and help you while you husband provides encouragement would have been nice. I also thought I was going to be able to power through the pain, you know, since I had run and trained for 5 marathons. It couldn’t be that bad, right? The pain got the best of me and I caved for an epidural. I can’t even imagiNE how bad crowning would have hurt. One thing that I found helpful with the contractions was the yoga breathing and meditation from my prenatal yoga class. If you have a chance to take a prenatal yoga class, I highly recommend it. Best of luck to you with your birthing process. I hope it goes well and that you’re able to do it the way you would like to š
I think our birthing plans are pretty much identical. I am opting for a natural birth, unless something goes wrong and an epidural is warranted. The funny thing is, I am actually more fearful of the epidural than actually giving birth. I freak out with the idea of something unnaturally altering my body (like a needle). Heck, giving blood is a big ordeal for me. Haha. I have never been put under (my biggest fear) and will always use minimal pain medication when prescribed. I am good at handling natural pain, but not pain from external sources. I am hoping my training and marathon days have prepared me mentally for withstanding the pain of childbirth! My husband and a few other family members are planning on being in the delivery room, so I am hoping that the combination of their voices will help coach me through the process. I wish we had classes around here that are specific to these methods. Our town is too small.
Yeah I just can’t imagine being basically tied down to a bed numb ! I like moving around and I’ll feel so much less helpless this way. Reading a book about natural childbirth and doing relaxation practice will help you even if you don’t have a class nearby!
I plan to have a non-medicated birth too. My husband and I are taking Lamaze classes and I love it! It’s nothing like you see on TV (I thought it’d be like the Full House episode where they take a childbirth class, ha), and it’s so similar to Bradley, from what I’ve heard. I think it’s come a long way since the 90s, at least at my hospital!
awesome! I’d love to hear more about it – let me know if you have or plan to write a post on your blog. It’s so funny how childbirth is nothing like on TV!!
You can totally do it! I had a short labor (12:45 water broke and my son came at 7:32). Just go in the way you are thinking now. Also, can I ask who your instructor is? My friend Rachel teaches Bradley and she is pregnant.
Yes our teacher is Rachel!
If you haven’t found Ina May Gaskin yet, go read her books! Especially Spiritual Midwifery, which is pretty crunchy, but her data is solid and the birth stories are inspiring. I also love http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/
Lily was born at home in the water, and I am still so proud and tickled that I did that.
Whichever way she comes, I hope you have a wonderful birth!
Crazy with all the girls! It’s the opposite up here with people I know- all boys this year š Maybe they can get some California cuties!
So smart to take a class specific to how you want to labour and deliver. We took just a general baby class where they covered different options.
I ended up giving birth naturally (which is what I hoped for stayed open-minded about an epidural), but I wish I could have been more prepared to manage the pain!
Yeah almost all my friends have had boys over the past 2 years so it is weird how it has switched !