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Why The BQ Has Lost Its Power Over Me

The Seaside Striders Running Club sending off the Boston runners at last week’s track workout by wearing blue and yellow

Today, runners all over the world, many of whom qualified by running a competitive finishing time at another marathon, completed the Boston Marathon! Congratulations to all the finishers! I love this race because it’s an icon among not only the running community but among the general public. It’s the race that people think of when they think of marathoning (and the New York Marathon, given that it’s usually the celebrity marathon of choice), even if they don’t know what a fartlek or Yasso 800 is.

Because of the qualifying standards, the Boston Marathon represents so much of what we as runners love about our sport – hard work, pushing the limits of our personal capabilities, and achieving goals that we once thought were impossible. The Boston Marathon is also incredibly meaningful because it represents hope and perseverance after the tragedy that occurred there in 2013. There are so many reasons why the Boston Marathon is a race I want to run one day, but right now, I’m not letting the opportunity I may or may never have to run the race have power over how I feel about myself as a person or as a runner.

On May 28th, I am going to run my 7th marathon, and if you’re counting, my 4th Boston qualifying attempt (read about attempts one, two and three). However, I’m not looking at it like that anymore. While I still think Boston is an incredible race for the reasons I listed above and a really cool milestone in anyone’s running career, it’s not the reason I’m running Mountains 2 Beach. Yes, it was the reason I ran marathons for a few years. I really let the idea of qualifying for Boston affect my running, the way I felt about myself as a runner, and my happiness at times (although just temporarily).

I collapsed just yards from the finish of the 2014 California International Marathon, missing my BQ within seconds and it broke my heart. The pain in my face here is not related to physical pain – it’s disappointment that I didn’t achieve my goal again.

But, I’ve already experienced failure. I’ve already experienced the worst. I’ve already felt the sting of disappointment. And you know what? It’s ok. When I fail, I’m sad, but in the end, the only person who really cares if I qualify for Boston or not is ME. Even when I’ve shouted from the rooftops that I want to qualify for Boston and then failed, once, twice and then three times, it hurt, but I’m still me. I’m still happy. It didn’t affect who I am as a person. Failure makes us stronger – IF we decide to pick ourselves up and try again.

At the end of the day, Boston is just a race. And a Boston Qualifying time happens in less than 3 hours 35 minutes (if you’re a female under 34 years old). Training for a marathon happens over the course of countless footsteps, immeasurable conversations with running partners, and many track workouts, hill repeats and tempo runs. There are good runs, bad runs and GREAT runs. There are moments where you feel more alive than ever – the times you ran in the rain and smiled all the way home as you soaked the seat of your car with your soaking wet pants, the times you hit paces you never felt possible, the times your legs felt like led but you had a good friend to chat with and distract you from the pain, the times your legs ached and you walked a little funny in the hours following a long run, but you feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that you ran 20 miles that morning.

I love training for marathons. And I love training to get faster at marathons. The disappointment and devastation that I have felt at the finish line of a marathon that didn’t go as planned is worth the journey that got me there. The race itself is just the icing on the cake. It’s not the cake. Honestly I need a better analogy becuase I don’t even like cake. Maybe ice cream!?

Running is my happy place

I’ve said from the beginning that I want to PR at Mountains 2 Beach. I didn’t say BQ, although it’s somewhat implied given my PR is 26 seconds off. A BQ would be nice. But will I let my success or failure to achieve a goal set by some stranger who thinks a woman my age is considered fast just because she can run 8:12 minute/miles or faster for 26.2 miles define me? No. My success on race day this year will be defined by whether or not I run the race I’m capable of. I want a good race. I want to negative split a marathon. I know I have it in me to PR and have a great race, and I would love to prove it. I’m in control of how I pace myself, fuel myself, and stay mentally tough in the final miles of the race. Those are the factors that I can control and if I do everything I can in those areas on race day and finish slower than a Boston Qualifying or PR time, I will still be happy.

Boston, I’ll see you one day. But until then, I’ll be here running, and loving it.

Have you ever tried and failed to qualify for the Boston Marathon? Do you want to run it one day? 

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April 17, 2017 By fitnessfatale 8 Comments

Filed Under: Running Tagged With: boston qualifying times, california international marathon, how hard is it to qualify for boston

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. BethAnn

    April 18, 2017 at 1:08 am

    Love everything about this ?

    Reply
  2. Victoria

    April 18, 2017 at 1:08 am

    Thank you so much for this!! I have ran 20 marathons and have never come me close to a BQ qualifying time. imglad ouve chose the path to just enjoy running. ? Until then #headsupwingsout!

    Reply
  3. Krissy Murphy

    April 18, 2017 at 2:31 am

    Great post, Nicole! Your mind is clear, you’re ready to rock that next marathon…but also, I gotta add: how can you not like cake?!? LOL 😀

    Reply
    • fitnessfatale

      April 18, 2017 at 3:10 am

      Haha. I don’t know, I will eat it but honestly it doesn’t do it for me!

      Reply
  4. Taryn

    April 18, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    I love this post, and it really resonates with me on many levels. I chased the elusive sub 2 hour half marathon for YEARS, and throw in 2 pregnancies and 2+ years of breastfeeding, I honestly never thought I could do it. It was when I finally let go of that pressure that I was able to achieve my goal (twice!) I finally came to the realization that the number we see on the clock (or our Garmin) when we cross that finish line doesn’t define us. It’s the journey, and how we deal with adversity during that time, that defines us. And it’s those moments that we will share with our kids one day. Thanks so much for writing this!

    Reply
    • fitnessfatale

      April 18, 2017 at 9:14 pm

      You’re welcome and thank you for sharing your story too! AT the end of the day, a number is just a number. How running makes us feel is really what is important. And we can’t let a stupid number on a clock tell us how to feel about our running! You’re the second person to say that once they let go of the number that they improved actually – maybe that’ll be the same for me!

      Reply
  5. Lesley

    April 20, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    I just ran a marathon last Friday with the the hopes of reaching the BQ time but fell short. 18 great miles and 8 crappy. I have chosen to not let those 8 define me nor the fact that I didn’t achieve my goal. Every time i chose to do something, the result I want isn’t supposed to happen. What fun would that be? For every attempt, I will be stronger and smarter and know myself and my abilities better. Can’t say that I wasn’t emotional or disappointed because I was. But I have made the decision to see my life, my time, my memories, my achievements in terms of adventures I have had. Not the numbers but the places, people, experiences.
    This has made all the difference.
    Glad to hear you aren’t letting anything steal your love of running Nicole!

    Reply
    • fitnessfatale

      April 24, 2017 at 6:27 pm

      Thanks Lesley! Sorry to hear about your race but you have a great attitude!

      Reply

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