Dear Scarlett & Rowan – 1 Month Old Twins

Dear Scarlett and Rowan,

You’re a month old! I wrote these letters for your sister each month and I am continuing the tradition with you two. I hope you don’t mind that I’m writing a letter to both of you – you two are bound to be paired up for much of your childhood and I hope it doesn’t bother you.

Despite sharing a womb and always being together, you two are already your own distinct little humans. You each have your own look – everyone says that Scarlett looks just like your dad and that Rowan looks a lot like Siena (who people always said looked like your dad as a baby too, so that basically means you both look like your dad). My mom found some baby pictures of me and I think that Scarlett looks a lot like me as a baby and Mike thinks Rowan looks like me as a baby, so I guess there’s a lot of me in you too.

In the beginning you were both pretty sleepy but we could already tell that Scarlett was a bit more “spirited” than Rowan, who is an incredibly laid back baby. Scarlett is a voracious eater and lets you know when she’s hungry with lots of expression. Rowan lets out little squawks when hungry and generally wakes up with a few grunts rather rather than cries. Scarlett takes a little more time and help to get to sleep (especially after night feedings) and Rowan will just fall right back asleep happily without any rocking necessary most of the time, especially at night.

You were both very sleepy for the first couple weeks and you barely had any awake time. Around 2-3 weeks, you started to wake up and have more awake time between feedings and naps and we started to have to do some work to get you to sleep at times. Around this time I decided to invest in a used Weego twin carrier so that I could carry both of you, particularly in the evenings and potentially later when I take all three of you to the park and I need to follow Siena around. Unlike your sister Siena, you both seem to love the carrier (although now of course she wants to be in her old Ergo carrier when you two are in yours!).

Our daily routine generally goes like this: wake up around 8-8:30 and go downstairs where Dad and Siena area already awake and usually watching Curious George. I’ll feed you both and eat breakfast and drink coffee myself, usually while pumping. Then we’ll get ready for our morning excursion, which could be an appointment (not as many of those these days luckily!) or a walk. Or maybe if Grandma is here, I will leave with Siena on my own and you’ll stay home with her. When we get back, if I haven’t fed you already while we were out, I’ll feed you again and you might get some tummy time. I’ll eat lunch (and pump again) put you down for another nap.

Usually I will get in an afternoon nap between feedings and we spend a lot of the late afternoon and early evening together nursing and feeding you bottles (pumped milk or formula supplement). Sometimes we’ll get out in the early evening for a walk to the park or to watch Siena play in the street on her scooter while I wear you in the twin carrier. Usually before bedtime your dad and I will cuddle you while either your nurse or sleep in our arms while we watch TV (lately the Handmaid’s Tale or West World). We try to get in bed by 10 p.m. and you usually wake up sometime around 1 AM and 4 AM for feedings, which generally take 45-60 minutes or so to tandem nurse, supplement, burp and change you and get you back to bed.

You’ve had a lot of visitors this month and we’ve had a ton of help from family and friends which has made things a lot easier. Your dad isn’t working right now so he is with you every day, though his main focus is taking care of your sister!

We had a meal train set up and friends and family have brought us delicious home cooked meals or yummy restaurant take out and we’ve even had friends send food from afar using meal delivery apps! I also froze and stored a lot of food before you were born and we’re still working our way through it. Not having to think about meals has been amazing since I am nursing or pumping around the clock and cooking isn’t always easy.

Your grandma Christy comes to help for 2 nights a week now and it helps a ton. It gives us more freedom and also means you get more cuddles and attention. I’ve been able to take your sister out on a few one-on-one excursions too because of her help. The last two Thursdays we’ve even gone out on our weekly date night and brought you two along!

We’ve had friends come clean, cook, wash bottles, watch Siena, fold laundry, cuddle babies, and bring wine! My childhood best friend Sam came for a night and two days and was an enormous help – the house was spotless for about half a day after she left (before your sister could destroy it again!). Speaking of your sister, she loves both of you but is having some trouble adjusting to her new role. She loves to pretend to be a baby and steal your pacifiers and sit in your rock n’ play and use your blankets. While our patience is short at times, we recognize she is going through a tough transition.

It’s crazy to think how much you’re going to change by the time I write your next letter. Being a second time parent has definitely helped me soak up these newborn cuddles with you two and recognize that the sleepless nights won’t last forever. I love you both so much and can’t wait to see your personalities emerge even more in the months and years to come!

Love,

Mama

P.S. Read more details about my first few weeks with twins in this blog post.

Read all about my twin pregnancy here.